Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of a Leader

A few weeks ago I was reading Steve Addison's blog and I have always respected his insights about the heart, issues and practices of Church planters and apostolic leaders. He wrote a short post about feeling what to do and think when you feel like the wheels have fallen off your ministry bus. This is where I have been a lot this past 8 months; at times no wheels, no gas, no engine other times 4 flats. He mentioned in passing a gal, Shelley Trebesch, that wrote an article/short book called Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of a Leader. Something about the title and probably where I was feeling at the moment struck me deep to my core. I have felt like I have been in isolation much this past year. I have felt like a failure. I wrestled with God about if He'll ever use us again. I have been pissed about where I have been in the process and feeling like a little 2 year old whining about going to the bathroom (I have a personal experience with my own little 2 year old princess Isa - that's another story).

So I quickly jumped on my local library web site and checked to see if they had this short 80 page book. Nope! But that didn't stop me from asking them to buy it. Well two weeks later, I got one of my favorite calls. "Your book is in." They didn't buy it but they did borrow it from Fuller Seminary. Either way, it saved me $10.

Shelley quickly gave me some tracks to run on as I evaluated my last 8 months and where am I now and where I'm going. You'll observe in the first few pages that this is really a paper or article for some class but that doesn't shrink its input and value into my life. She walks you through about 7 case studies throughout history, biblical and non, of people who have been in isolation. You enter isolation either via a voluntary choice or in our case, involuntary. "Isolation is the setting aside a leader from normal ministry involvement in its natural context usually for an extended time in order to experience God in a new and deeper way." p. 10


"God can use a season of isolation to break a leader's arrogance and self confidence. Such breaking process can also restore a leader to become what God really created the leader to be." p.15


She talks about a 4 stage process of Isolation that I can almost give exact dates of entering, leaving and in some cases, I'm still in.
1. Stripping: of money, family, health, primarily of ministry identity. Ouch! This is what God had to do in me. Get rid of my self worship, worship of ministry, fame, impact, power, doing great things for God. I questioned am I worth anything? Is God enough? What in the world am I doing?
2. Wrestling with God: My codependency was discovered here. What I was getting my security and love from. It felt like God wasn't around. I think I even went into a period of depression. Not fun for me but I look back and see this is a tremendous value in my life. To be honest, there are still times of wrestling that are going on right now. "Why are you downcast, O my soul?" Psalm 42:5
3. Increased Intimacy: I often don't get here but not working for 8 months was I believe a gift God and CCC gave me. This is a big part in getting here. All I'm left with is God. I can't produce, can't perform for others. All I have is His grace. Desire for ministry success and being cutting edge dies and desire for the presence of Jesus is birthed.
4. Release to look toward the future: I think I may be here mixed with a couple of of these other stages. My desire is not to rush out into the future but wait for God to call us out. This should become a quiet peace when looking forward not an escaping the pain of isolation.


She also talks about 3 fruits of transformation. (I want these!) p. 49-54
1. Inward Transformation
2. Spiritual Transformation
3. Ministerial Transformation


She also talks about what development goes on in Isolation. She walks through Ps 42 (one of my new favorites) as she explains this development.
1. Be Honest.
2. Remember.
3. Have Hope.
4. Get a Mentor.
5. Listen to the Voice of God.
6. Embrace Isolation. (either if you're in it or because it will come.)



So grab it somewhere, read it and take the time to process what God may be doing in your isolation experience. If you're not in one, read it so when it does come, you'll have some sort of grid to grow.


Categories: Books, God

Please Pray for us!

Please Pray:

*That God will use this time of serving in our regional office to bring about Glory to His name.

*That God will give Christine and the kids grace and mercy during homeschool.

*That God will use our time coaching football and soccer to bring about the love of God to those families participating.

*That God will continue to speak deep into our hearts and relationship. That we will do the work of seeking Him and resting in His Grace.

*That the work of launching 4,000 movements in Mexico City will continue under God’s grace.

Categories: Newsletters, Prayer

End of Summer.....Kingdom Projects

The end of summer always brings about a mixed bag of emotions. On one level we are excited as I'm (Steve) coaching Jonathan's tackle football and Benjamin's soccer team. The boys love this time running around and getting to know the other kids. Christine and I love this time because it gives us such a great time to interact with the parents of these kids. We try to host 2 parties during the season to honor the kids as well as love the parents. We believe this is such a great opportunity to share the love of God through healthy community.

On the other side of our emotional bag is sadness because summer is soon ending. This summer is one of our first summers in 13 years of ministry where our ministry was to fall in love with Jesus, each other and the kids. After years of serving in Boulder, Chile, Spain, and Mexico we have been long overdue for a time of rest and restoration. You have made that possible. Thanks!!

We will miss hanging out at the the neighborhood pool and time up in the mountains. Just two weeks ago we, with our neighbors and their 7 kids, did our first camping trip. I think all four kids did better than Christine and I but we're in for it again next summer. It was so fun seeing them all asleep in their sleeping bags in the tent, running around with dirt all over their faces and the cheeks pasted with marshmallow stickiness of smores. (More pictures at Family Camping)

Through this time of rest and reflection we have learned a ton about the heart of God and the Gospel. We are constantly reminded that the "Gospel is not for the able." We are resting in the complete work of Jesus and that is sparking a flame in our hearts to fall deeper in love with Him and His work around us. A common theme we are learning is solitude, silence, and waiting on Him.

In these times of reading, talking, praying, sharing, crying and laughing we are trusting God to use our day job to bless Him and others. We believe that out of our brokenness and humility God will use us to bless those around us and around the world.

This past week Steve started in his work in the Great Plains Regional office of Campus Crusade to give service to 'special projects.' Lately these special projects have been fleshed out to be leading the 1,500 students who come to Denver over January to bless the city, serve the city and bring “The Kingdom of God” to Denverites. We’re trusting God that our "Day of Faith" on Jan 5th will challenge students to Good Deeds and share Good News to those hurting, lost and lonely.

A good friend of mine, Ethan, has recently taken a national director job with Campus Crusade and is responsible for bringing the Kingdom of God to every student and campus in 6 major cities of the U.S. Because of our experience, although short, and leadership in Mexico City he has asked me help coach, advise and network these city leaders with proper resources.

Thank you for allowing us to grow, allowing God to perk new interests and horizons in our hearts and waiting with us for God to bring about His Kingdom. We look forward to the months and years serving together. Thank you for your generous, faithful and encouraging partnership.

Categories: Family,, Newsletters,, God,, Kingdom,, Prayers

Family Camping

To end the summer we joined our neighbors, Billy and Ali and their 7 kids plus two other friends they adopted for the summer, for a small camping trip up to Vail. Eli their 8-9 year old was in a statewide 3 v 3 soccer tournament up there so we decided to join them. Billy owns an RV company so his family was decked out with a great rig. We on the other hand don't own one but own a cool 3 bedroom tent. So what does a crazy family of 4 kids do if they don't have a trailer? We head up with the truck filled with gear and rough it.

We got up at 4:30am to head to Vail and aim for the first come first serve camp site. We lucked out because we pulled in there at 7:30am and grabbed the last site. The kids were in their glory; running around, finding sticks and firewood, dirt all over and visions of smores cooking in the fire that night.

We pitched the tent and gave it the good ole college try. Isa was all smiles, ear to ear, to know that she was sleeping in the tent next to me. Throughout the night she would just lean over, tap me and smile. Jacob was 10 short weeks at the time but did great. He slept great, stayed warm and Christine would just nurse right there in the tent. We survived a big rain storm the first night about midnight with little water finding its way into the corners of our tent.

The first night was a night of 'hobos.' We taught our friends and their kids how to make a tin foil filled with meat, cheeses, veggies, and sauces pocket of joy. It was a crazy adventure of kids screaming, "mine's done," and "which one is mine." Ultimately they loved it and we ended the night with smores.

This was our first time in Vail and we just loved it. We have driven through hundreds of times but found no reason to stop. The village, the mountain, shops and clean air is now calling us back. The village is filled with great shops and play grounds the kids just loved. Sunday afternoon after some soccer games we took the gondola up to the top of Vail Mountain. It was just shear beauty filled with volleyball, a good beer, a cup of cafe and good views.

All in all the kids, friends, smell of the mountains gave us a vision to make getting out and away from home and the city part of our regular summer lives. We'll have to wait until next year as school has started and the nights are getting colder. Maybe we'll find ourselves a little trailer to tow and to make the nights a bit more warm and dry.

Categories: Family, Photos

The Way of the Heart

This past weekend I read a book from Henri J.M. Nouwen. He is quickly becoming a favorite author of mine. I read In the Name of Jesus before and it impacted my way of thinking tremendously. A must check of The Way of the Heart out from your library or a quick $9 visit to Amazon will have you challenged in your intimacy and rest in God. A quick read will take you through Solitude, Silence and Prayer.

This has been a common theme for myself lately. From reading Scazzero and McLaren I am sensing a call to reorder how I interact, relate and experience Jesus. So much has been said about these traditions of experiencing God but maybe more as disciplines. Each author points to the experience and presence of God, not in a religious way of earning God's favor but in a pure religious manner (as said by John Lamb this past week as we were talking about the Celtics in Ireland).

I have so much to learn as I can see in my own life a disconnect from the holy presence of God. But more and more since our marriage struggle this past year and our own significance and identity was faltering I have seen God work in pursuing me more than I of Him. There is so much to learn about God and I believe Christendom in the next century will be completely different. I really do believe there is a whole new way of living that isn't about another strategy or program that helps us interact with God. It will probably be a whole new way of thinking/theology.

In light of this book summary I want to drop a few nuggets from Nouwen. Enjoy.

• Solitude is not just a private therapeutic place. Rather it is a place of conversion, the place where the old self dies and the new self is born, the place where the emergence of the new man and woman occurs. p. 27
• Here we reach the point where ministry and spirituality touch each other. It is compassion. Compassion is the fruit of solitude and the basis of all ministry. p. 33
• In solitude we realize that nothing human is alien to us, that the roots of all conflict, war, injustice, cruelty, hatred, jealousy and envy are deeply anchored in our own hearts. p.34
• What becomes visible here is that solitude (Steve: I would say Jesus in the solitude) molds self-righteous people into gentle, caring, forgiving persons who are so deeply convinced of their own great sinfulness and so fully aware of God's even greater mercy that their life itself becomes ministry. In such a ministry there is hardly any difference between doing and being. p.37
• Silence is the way to make solitude a reality. p. 43
• Silence is solitude practiced in action. p. 44
• The word no longer communicates, no longer fosters communion, no longer creates community, and therefore no longer gives life. p. 46
• Silence is the discipline by which the inner fire of God is tended and kept alive. p.52
• It is as if we are not sure that God's Spirit can touch the hearts of people; we have to help Him out and, with many words, convince others of His power. But it is precisely this wordy unbelief that quenches the fire. p.54
• As ministers our greatest temptation is toward too many words. They weaken our faith and make us lukewarm. But silence is a sacred discipline. A guard of the Holy Spirit. p. 56
• Pastoral Counseling is the attempt to lead fearful parishioners into the silence of God, and to help them feel at home there, trusting that they will slowly discover the healing presence of the Spirit. p. 62
• But our task is the opposite of distraction. Our task is to help people concentrate on the real but often hidden event of God's active presence in their lives. p. 63
• Real prayer penetrates to the marrow of our soul and leaves nothing untouched. p. 78
• By its very nature such prayer transforms our whole being into Christ precisely because it opens the eyes of our soul to the truth of ourselves as well as the truth of God. p. 78

Categories: Books, God, Spirituality