Going through a transformation

These past couple of years my heart, brain and ministry have gone through a transformation and I hope will continue to do so. In the summer of 2003 I had been doing full time ministry with Campus Crusade for Christ based out of Boulder, CO for 9 years. Three of those years I had been the director and also have been given the opportunity to lead some movements overseas in Chile and Spain.

I found my self that summer feeling drained, tired and ready to quit the ministry. I couldn't reconcile what I was feeling inside with what I was doing daily on campus. We talked all the time as a staff team and as a corporate ministry about getting to all 60 million college students (now 100 million) around the world with the gospel but I just felt like the little work we were doing at the University of Colorado was in vain. Yes, CU has been a campus that has sent hundreds of graduates into full time ministry but it seemed we were missing the very students that surrounded us on campus. We would fight, dream, pray, strategies and labor hard at tweaking our outreaches, our weekly meeting and try to dream up something new and big that would be "it." They all seemed to go off with a small bang.

That summer one of my good friends (Jeff) from California gave me a few books to read. I have received books from him before but these came at the perfect time. The Spirit of God used these to take me on a journey of self discovery and renewal. The two books he gave me were
A New Kind of Christian and The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity Can Win the West....Again. The sparked some new thoughts. They grabbed a portion of my heart. I have felt for some time that our ministry on campus was missing the majority of not yet Christians. Our solution as stated before was to just tweak and work harder at a weekly meeting. But the not yet Christians weren't coming and didn't really care about what we had planned. We were failing at getting to the culture that God had called us to reach.

What I saw happening in my life was a dissatisfaction with church, my own relationship with God and our ministry. I was going through the same old motions of meeting with God and going out daily to reach the campus. What I was missing was a heart that was soft and ready to be used by God to reach the lost.

A few other books:
The Story we Find ourselves In
The Younger Evangelical
Adventures in Missing the Point
Blue Like Jazz
Invitation to a Journey
The Church of Irresistible Influence
The Kingdom Assignment 1
The Kingdom Assignment 2
The Divine Conspiracy
and recently
The Shaping of Things to come: Innovation and Mission for the 21st Century Church
Liquid Church
Cultivating a life for God
Master Plan of Evangelism
The Church in the House: a Return to Simplicity
and a few audio sermons and Bible studies from Tim Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church

Some of these are great and I would recommend and others were just okay. But all in all they formed some new thoughts, ideas and most importantly renewed my passion and desire to reach those that are not yet Christians.

At times it is frustrating because I still feel like I am failing as a leader to reach every student every year but I feel like God is calling me, us, our team, our ministry to try; to step out in bold faith; to try something new, radically new. If we don't we'll lose a whole generation of men and women who need a savior.
Categories: Books

Cancer Hits Home

This past year Christine, my wife, experienced the interesting and painful experience with Cancer. Her mom, who lives in Texas, was diagnosed with brain, spinal and lung cancer. It has been a confussing year of understanding cancer, frustration with Dr's and just plain not understanding what God is doing through all of this. Fortunately, we have been able to send Christine to Texas a few times to spend intimate time with her mother. She is still in treatment and still we are not sure what is going on and if she is getting better.

Well tonight I got a sobering call from my mother in California. My mom and dad were just out in Colorado this past week and it was great seeing them again. My dad received some bad news from his Dr. He was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. I'm not really sure how to respond or feel. Having your mother-in-law with cancer is one thing and it is horrible. But having my dad, the steady, patient, encouraging servant in my life, find out that he has cancer seems totally unfair. I want to be the rock for him. I want to be the one who brings hope and helps our family fix our eyes on Jesus. But at the same time I don't know what to do.

These past two weeks I have been attending our Campus Crusade National Staff conference and it started out with our staff family just being honest with God, sharing our hurts, bringing before God and each other our pains and sufferings. A close friend of mine two weeks ago lost their baby in utero at 36 weeks. Another of our friends here in Boulder lost their 12 year old daugher in a horse accident. None of this is perfect. This isn't suppossed to happen. And through all of this I try to relate but don't quite understand how to feel or what my friends are going through.
My brain tells me to be a rock. My theology says that God is good and all will be okay.

At my friends daughter's memorial they sung the song, Blessed be Your Name by Matt Redman
Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Oh, There's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to stay
Lord Blessed be your name


This is how I want to respond. This is how I want to live. When the good and bad come, my response will always be Blessed by your name.

This will be an interesting adventure. I take comfort in knowing that my savior, Jesus, fully understands me, fully knows what my dad is going through and fully has us all in His hands.

Captivated by God - A People of Mission

Isaiah, Moses, and Jesus. What in the world do they have in common? They all experienced the power, presence and reality of God on the throne, in a bush, or throughout eternity. Immediately they too were all called to be men of action, men of devotion, men of a mission; sent out into the world to be a voice shouting in the desert, preparing the way of the Lord, and ushering in the Kingdom of God.

Men captivated by God called to a mission for God.

There is no other reason or no other being other than God who can motivate us to give up things, time and fame. He is the one who deserves all the glory. Throughout history when men and women accomplished great things for God it is because prior to that grand expression of mission their hearts were cut deep to the core with the momentous experience of truly knowing God.

Our dream, desire, deepest longings this coming fall as we venture out to be leaders for God on His mission is to be captivated by God. To find rest in His loving arms, to find hope in his power and to find forgiveness in His grace and mercy.
We know and believe that when we, our staff and our students are captivated by God and not by ministry activities God will be glorified to the nations. There are over 27,000 college students at CU, many whom have never experienced a real encounter with Jesus or even heard of how to know God personally. All the strategies, tactics, plans, meetings and outreaches in the world will be in vain unless we see God for who He is and help others catch a glimpse of His glory.

We want to be men and women who lock arms together, dying to self daily, serving others in their time of need, listening to their hurts and pains and responding with the love of Christ. Is it possible that every student at CU and around the world can experience God’s love? Is it possible for all followers of Jesus to live for His mission of rescuing the lost? Is it possible to find joy in serving God will all your heart, soul and strength?

Yes, yes, yes!! When we see Him clearly, we will see His Kingdom come!

Jumping into the world of Blog

I am facinated by the opportunity to have a venue for free thinking, sharing of ideas and innovation via the web. We'll see how this flies in my life of shallow thoughts and confussion.