The Inner Work of God

The past 10 months in our lives we have been given a renewed and maybe even a completely new look on life and walking with God. I know that many things, activities, idols, relationships, ministries we were part of have been stripped away and have been rebirthed and some have been removed. Thank God!

We would call this the Inner Work of God that He is doing on us. This is much harder, more painful, emotional yet rewarding and joyous than any other type of work we have done for or with God. It goes down deep to the core of who we are, what we value, where we find our significance, to our inner wounds, those things and people we worship. The words of our counselor, Michael Cusick of Restoring the Soul, from day 1 of our intensive counseling session back in December of 2006 still ring as hopeful and encouraging to my heart, "You old marriage is gone and done, your new one is starting today." I would even go farther and say that our old way of living, relating, doing ministry and knowing God is gone and done and our new way of being and doing is starting today. That is really what we have experienced the past 10 months. Rebirthing a whole new outlook on God and life; at times painful but also super refreshing.

Lately we have been encouraged and challenged by a book called The Celtic Daily Prayer of the Northumbria Community (all found online). John Lamb recommended it to me as I have been tossing around and chewing on the ideas of Daily Office and Sabbath. Christine and I when together and apart read the morning prayer, read the devotionals and meditations. We're trusting that God will bring a rhythm to the way we interact with Him, not just a religious experience. I realize more and more that I'm honest with myself that I don't have a lot to offer God in the spiritual disciplines. Most of the time it requires all I have to wake up in the morning and not be a mean, selfish, stubborn Dutch pain the you know what to my family and everyone around me. I need something to grab my heart and mind and I trust the Holy Spirit will connect me to something much deeper and grandiose that I can attain on my own. I also realize the hardness of my own heart that even if I connect with God in the morning, I soon am running on my own a few hours later. The daily office that we have been practicing is our attempt to walk, live, think, relate and practice the presence of God.

Each morning on my hour long drive to Boulder, CO I also read, meditate and relate to God via a Daily Prayer found on John Eldridge's site, Ransomed Heart (click on Going Deeper and then Prayers) or here. This has also been very helpful in grabbing my heart, centering my affections and reminding me of a great Saviour.

Yesterday I read this from page 48 -Day 2 in the Celtic Daily Prayer,

There is a contemplative in all of us, almost strangled but still alive,
who craves quiet enjoyment of the Now, and longs to touch the seamless garment of silence which makes whole. Alan P. Tory
CARMELITE VOW: Let each stay in or near their own cell
meditating, day and night on the law of the Lord, and vigilant in prayer, unless
otherwise employed by the Holy Spirit.

and today from Day 3:

The Cry to God as 'Father' in the New Testament is not a calm acknowledgement of a universal truth about God's abstract fatherhood. It is the Child's cry out of a nightmare.
It is the cry of outrage, fear, shrinking away, when faced with the horror of the 'world' - yet not simply or exclusively protest, but trust as well.
'Abba Father' all things are possible
to Thee ... Rowan Williams

As you can see there are themes of doing the inner work of God before going out. This has been hard for me. I have either been trained or just lived the way of going out and then, if called or employed by the Holy Spirit to come in and rest. I want to make that vow my vow for life and ministry. I also see this cry of 'Father' so true. When we have come to grips with our inner being, the darkness of our own sin and evil, the ways of the world, this cry becomes a 'help me! I'm dying' cry to God.

Just some thoughts I have been noodling on lately.

Categories: God, Prayer, Spirituality