Codependent No More

My counselor with a smile on his face but all seriousness back a few months ago said he never labels people but I deserved a label. Then he called me a benevolant workaholic. The next day I was blessed more than others and I got another label, Codependent. I was okay with the workaholic label because is seemed stronger. The codependent label seemed week and lame. But mostly from the fact that I had no clue as to what it was.

Over the next week I read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I'm sure I still don't quite understand my issues but this helped me see my desire to control those around me by serving, 'loving' them, and in the process I was killing myself. I found that I tend to want affirmation and acceptance from others so I will do what ever it takes to get that from them, serve them and 'love' them so they will in turn find me valuable. I use 'love' like this because this isn't really love. It is a selfish action that is about me. Wow, what an eye opener. As I shared my thoughts of this book with others I found that many of those I know struggle with this.

This isn't a comprehensive look at the issue and comes mostly from a secular viewpoint but it is worth the read as you work on your own junk.

When People are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch was given to me by my brother-in-law, David as I was reading Beattie's book. This is a Christian perspective on fear of man and codependency. This really helped me see that God is huge.

Both were good companions to each other. I don't fully agree with all of them but they sure are worth the read.

Categories: Books, God