She's got me worked over

Yesterday the last of the 5,000 incoming freshmen students moved into the dorms at CU. Every year our ministry, Fuel, helps students and parents carry boxes, luggage and toys to their small rooms. It was different for me this year.

I caught myself looking at weary fathers, sweating, exhausted and anxious about their little daughters going off to a place like Boulder. Then I looked at their little 18 year old daughters, who look like 25 years old, on cell phones, wearing hardly any clothes and super excited about their college experience. Then I had a panic attack. Isabela and myself in 18 years. Ouch!!

I grabbed Isa when I got home and talked to her about her upcoming experience. I told her to watch out for herself, stay pure, ask Dad for anything, and be a good girl. She smiled, laughed and then stuck her fingers in my mouth. That's probably what I needed the most. Basically, don't worry about it Dad, lets just cuddle, play and laugh. It's pretty amazing what my little princess is doing to me. I like the pull on my heart that she has. Ultimately, I think I'll be okay.

Cancer still at home but localized

Yesterday was a hard day of relationships, meetings, and getting back on campus to start ministry again. On top of that, about 5pm I was expecting a call from my parents to see what the bone and muscle scan of my dad yielded. As I was talking to Christine a few hours before, I just began to cry that I didn't want any more hard things in life. I just want to see fruit. I just want to see God move supernaturally in my life and in the lives of others.

I know that those emotions come from a strong desire for comfort and peace in my own life. I know that I often want things to work out just the way I want them. But I also know that God's grace is sufficient for all that comes across our plate. When I am weak, he is strong. That is the power of why God sent Jesus. Because at all points in my life, I am weak and I need one that goes before me to give me strength. That is my daily plan. That is where I want to be, falling on my knees before God, crying out, "Help!"

Well, I did get the call and it was my mom in tears saying it was good news. Dad's cancer hasn't spread. It is still localized to his prostrate and the Dr. communicated that we had caught it fairly early. Dad is either in stage 1 or 2. Mom and Dad were so relieved and you can imagine, I was too.

I am grateful to God for his answer to our family's prayers for my dad. I'm grateful that God still reigns in our lives. I'm grateful that whatever trails or tribulations happen to us, God is there with us. I'm glad I don't have to live out each day in my own strength. It's just so limited.

So what's next in my dad's physical life? Mom and dad are going on an Alaskan cruise this Saturday. Go Party!!! Then when they get back they'll deal with this chapter in their life; most likely with surgery and some treatments. We're still praying for complete healing but most importantly we are praying that we are totally dependent on God.

They are growing up

This past weekend our staff team, 16 adults, a two spouses, and 8 kids, went up to Summit County to have a good time, connecting, laughing and having fun. It was really what we needed as a team and as a family.

Sunday our team drove over to Breck Ski Resort to hit the Alpine Slide. The part that was so enjoyable for me is that the boys, Jonathan and Benjamin, are now big enough to join us. They were so excited.

Jonathan at first was a bit scared to go by himself and you can imagine that his fear soon disappeared. I looked over and there is my little boy, almost 7, flying down, hooting and hollering just like me and our other staff, the big kids.

As we jumped off he gave quick high fives and I'm sure he felt like the other guys. "Dad, dad, dad, can we go again? I want to ride with mom. I want to ride with curtis. I want to ride by myself. Can we race?"

For me it was a joy to see my little boys grow up. But with the same joy came a fear. Wow, they are growing up. Now we have little Isa, 7 1/2 months old, just learning to move around. Last night we caught on film her wiggling and squirming to get to the toy she wanted.

Kids are such a blessing from God. As we watch them grow, we are so grateful to God to be their parents. To laugh at their goofiness. To cry when they skin their knees. To be with them for so many more years. I can only imagine that the love I have for them is a portion of the love that God has for us as He looks down from Heaven.

U2 Fans check this out

I was reading a friend of mine's blog (Ryan McReynolds) site today. The article he came across is pretty cool if you're a U2 fan and/or if you've been wondering where Bono stands with Jesus, God and spirituality. For a guy who has been all over the map with his witness and testimony and music style this is encouraging.

Bono's Confession of Christ

Parenting and Leading Others

This past month we attended our National Staff Conference in Fort Collins, CO. This is a great time for staff to connect from all over the world, to refocus our hearts and minds and learn a ton about leading and personal ministry. One of the special sessions (Raising Kids on Staff) that I attended was a Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Changes that Heal. There were many insightful and challenging things shared.

One of the tid bits shared was 4 things to do for your kids. To say that I am achieving these four things is an overstatement.
1. Stay connected to your Children. Listen, validating them and seeking them daily.
2. Give them freedom and give them loving consequences when they make mistakes.
3. Help them to love being imperfect. Teach them to lose because they will. I think this is where the Gospel will become the most real to them. They will see their failures and learn to rely on the grace and truth of God. This will also take away the performance based living for self, others and God. As they consistently experience God's grace and ours they will continually bring problems, mistakes and sin to us and God.
4. Try to give them adulthood experiences as soon as possible. Increase their freedom as they are responsible.

Isn't that simple and profound. My prayer is that in the power of the Holy Spirit we'll be able to practice these principles in our parenting. Understanding that in the journey we will also fail. I can only imagine what kids will look like if they experience an environment like this while growing up. I would guess they are well adjusted and confident and are great leaders in their community.

As I lead our ministry team of 16 other staff and many other students I am encouraged these same principles apply to leadership. Stay connected, give them freedom and loving consequences, teach them to lose well and experience God's grace and help them become adults as soon as possible as they take on more and more responsibilities.

There are not many new things under the sun. Especially in the area of parenting and leading others. It really comes down to loving them, giving them grace and truth and environment where they can win and fail.

I'm thankful that in my parenting and leading of others it is a journey and that I don't have to be "perfect." Practice, practice, practice.

Do I "In God we Trust?"

Today I received an email that was convicting and a great reminder of what I need. I often find myself running out the door on my own strength and lose perspective of what I'm doing and who I'm doing it for.

Here is the email from Gilbert Kingsley:

In God we Trust.
A couple was staying with the husband's wealthy boss. On the way to dinner at an exclusive restaurant, the boss stopped short to pick up something in the street. The wife was surprised to see that it was only a penny. When she asked later if the penny might have had some value, the wealthy boss called attention to the words, "IN GOD WE TRUST". He said that whenever he finds a coin he stops to pick it up and checks to see if he is trusting God. He sees it as God's way of starting a conversation with him. Is he trusting God or his own means?

It may only be an urban legend, but I have adopted that practice. This morning, at the 2 mile mark of my 3 mile run, I saw a penny in the street. I actually ran past it because I was running at a good pace and did not want to stop. But I thought better of it and went back to pick it up. As I started off again with the penny in hand, I found myself in prayer telling the Lord that I wanted to trust Him, to say "Yes!" to Him and to be His. It was a meaningful worship experience, running in the sweltering humidity of Orlando. Interestingly, (now this may be my perception or my superior athletic ability!), but I noticed that my stride was longer during that final mile. When I finished at the marked time I had set, I had run further than at any point in several months.

Did I just psych myself up? The pragmatist would say so. But for those of us looking for the touch of God in our everyday lives, I believe that it was God's reminder to me to stop and recall what my trust is in. It was confirmation that "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31 NIV

This is a very busy time for all of us, getting back from CSU, finishing up summer assignments, solidifying our financial support, gearing up for FSK distribution, getting in touch with student leaders and, generally, preparing for the most critical weeks of the entire year. But our trust is in Him. We go with God's blessing. We are on His mission. Yes, we want to start new ministries and grow existing ministries and give more students a chance to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ. But we are God's messengers. In God we trust.

Bias is changed

Yesterday, a journalist from the Colorado Daily in Boulder, CO called and wanted to ask a few questions about our ministry on campus. The local Hillel Center director, Devorah (a friend), mentioned to this reporter that she call me. She had some basic questions like what are you trying to do on campus and how many students are involved. I love these opportunities to share with an outsider who is willing to listen to what God is calling us to be and become on campus.

After a short 20 minutes sharing my dream to be a group that creates Transformational Spiritual groups that build bridges to the campus, every ethnic and affinity group. I contrasted that vision and dream with our old way of doing things; asking students to come to something we have built (our refuge) and promising them that they will experience life change. We still believe what we have to offer is life changing but we now want to get to them, relate to them and listen to them. At that point we can start dialoging about faith and God issues. I was explaining to her that this is different than having our starting point in our relationships with the campus be our differences and our group trying to convince others that are wrong and we are right. Now we want to bring the love of Christ to them in a language, culture and setting that they are comfortable with.

She asked more questions and then on a personal note asked me about a group that visited her high school a few years ago. The journalist, who is Jewish, said she was offended because this group told her she was lacking purpose and meaning in life because she didn't have Jesus as her Saviour. This may or may not have been communicated but what is important is what she heard. In the groups noble and valuable efforts to love high school students they alienated a gal who is open to talk about spiritual issues. I apologized to her for the experience. I agreed we, Christians, have made some grave errors in trying to share about God's love.

She was blown away that I would apologize and was astonished with what we, Fuel, were trying to do on campus. She told me she had learned a ton through our phone call. She was grateful for our honesty and openness. She then vulnerably told me that before she called me that she had a negative bias against our group because of her past experiences with Christians. She said this talk really opened her eyes and changed that.

I just wish I could talk with each and every student in an open and honest way. Not that we'll convince all of them to accept Jesus but at least we can share with them that we love them, understand them and are willing to listen to them. If we take a moment to do those things we will be shocked by how much we have in common with the not-yet Christians on our campuses and communities. Then and only then can we start talking about some of the deeper issues of faith and God.

I'm not sure what she is thinking now, but I am looking forward to reading her article and seeing what impact the love of God made on her.