Monday, July 02, 2007

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality



How can one capture what he/she has learned in 6 months of growth. Well Peter Scazzero in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in your Life in Christ has done a great job to summarize and put some feet and hands to our counseling and growth. This may have been one of the best spiritual growth books that I have ever read or come across. A good friend, John Lamb, suggested back in March to pick this one up and read it.

First, for all of you and me that think or thought that emotions have no place in our walk with God this book is for you. I used to dismiss emotions because as the little train diagram suggest that emotions are the caboose and you really don't need them if you have faith and fact. What I learned is that God uses our emotions to give us a full picture of our humanity and that we were made in the image of God. "My failure to "pay attention to God" and to what was going on inside me caused me to miss many gifts. He was lovingly coming and speaking to me, seeking to get me to change. I just wasn't listening. I never expected God to meet me through feelings such as sadness, depression and anger." p.19 Scazzero points out that in order to grow spiritually you must grow emotionally.

Secondly, he gives an extremely helpful rundown on ten symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality in chapter 2. As you read these ask yourself where you find yourself. Believe me I live in many of these.

  1. Using God to run from God
  2. Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness and fear
  3. Dying to the wrong things
  4. Denying the past's impact on the present
  5. Dividing our lives into "secular" and "sacred" compartments
  6. Doing for God instead of being with God
  7. Spiritualizing away conflict
  8. Covering over brokenness, weakness and failure
  9. Living without limits
  10. Judging other people's spiritual journey

He also shares when we combine emotional healthy and contemplative spirituality they offer us three primary gifts: (p.47)

  1. The gift of slowing down
  2. The gift of anchoring in God's love; and
  3. The gift of breaking free from illusions.

The gift of slowing down is a challenge for Christine and I but in these past 6 months God is teaching us a ton. Later on in the book Scazzero gives some practical suggestions for a 'daily office' and a 'sabbatical.' But at this point the book what stuck out the most was anchoring in God's love; something that has been difficult for me to experience apart from my performance for God and others.

"Emotional healthy uniquely positions us to gain a small glimpse into "how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to [experientially] know this love that surpasses knowledge." (Eph 3:18, 19). That small glimpse alone is enough to ground us in our true identity--to know we are deeply loved by God. Because of this, we can have a new, more biblical self-understanding:

  • I hold myself in high regard despite my imperfections and limits.
  • I am worthy to assert my God-given power in the world.
  • I am entitle to exist.
  • It is good that I exist.
  • I have my own identity from God that is distinct and unique.
  • I am worthy of being valued and paid attention to.
  • I am entitled to joy and pleasure.
  • I am entitled to make mistakes and not to be perfect.

Emotional health powerfully anchors me in the love of God by affirming that I am worthy of feeling, worthy of being alive, and lovable even when I am brutally honest about the good, the bad, the ugly deep beneath the surface of my iceberg." p. 54

I am learning to receive God's love and to get in touch with how I am doing inside. There is no reason to be afraid of those feelings. I have been learning to take those emotions to the Lord and use them as an opportunity to experience the cross of Christ.

"We are too active for the kind of reflection needed to sustain a life of love with God and others." p. 48

Scazzero points out that Emotionally healthy spirituality requires yo to go through the pain of the Wall--or, as the ancients called it, "the dark night of the soul." p.126 But when you go through the hard work of dealing with the pain inside caused by your own brokenness, the trials of life, the destruction of others you come out to:

  1. A greater level of brokenness
  2. A greater appreciation for Holy unknowing (mystery)
  3. A deeper ability to wait for God
  4. A greater detachment

Emotionally healthy faith admits: p.122

  • I am bewildered
  • I don't know what God is doing right now
  • I am hurt
  • I am angry
  • Yes, this is a mystery
  • I am very sad right now
  • O God, why have you forsaken me?

Throughout the book I saw holes in my emotional Swiss cheese health. But it also confirmed so many of the lessons that I/we have learned through our wonderful counselor Michael Cusick. It feels at times that in some areas we starting at child birth and growing all over again. But this is where I want to be; seeing my weaknesses, faults, fears, sadness and anger and letting the person of Jesus and the power of the Gospel minister deep within my soul. I am learning to be my own self. "Differentiation: a person's capacity to define his or her own life's goals and values apart from the pressures of those around them." p. 82

If you find yourself a overly emotional person not sure what to do with all the craziness inside that seams to make no sense or if you're stone cold, haven't shed a tear in years (even in the greatest chick flicks), or only have two emotions (tired or hungry) than this book is a must for you.

On the topic of resting and his definition of daily office and sabbath is where I came across this quote: "God was teaching them [Adam and Eve] that, "after the full flowering of their achievements and activities, they [were] invited, not to be active, not to accomplish, but to surrender in trust...Action, then passivity; striving, then letting go, doing all one can do and then being carried...only in this rhythm is the spirit realized." p. 156

He defines a daily office as Stopping, Centering, Silence and Scripture. "The great power in setting small units of time for morning, midday and evening prayer infuses into the rest of my day's activities a deep sense of the sacred of God. All the time is His. The daily office, practiced consistently, actually eliminates any division of the sacred and the secular in our lives." p.159

Eugene Peterson says in his book on page 165 "..even though Sabbath has been one of the most abused and distorted practices of the Christian life, we can not do without it. "Sabbath is not primarily about is or how it benefits us; it is about God and how God forms us...I don't see any way out of it; if we are going to live appropriately in the creation we must keep the sabbath.""

Now I'm off to start reading Brian D. McLaren's book The Secret Message of Jesus. Again my local library hails as the best. I put in a book order for three books and this past week I got my call; they're in. Not only did they find them but they are brand new bought just for me and those following.

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